The only way to make a man do something is to make him think it was his idea.
Every woman has heard this phrase at least once.Â
Like in the movie Inception, the process involves planting an idea in the subconscious mind until, tada!, the protagonist believes it was their idea.
I don't know if it works because, being impatient AF, I never could wait long enough for a man's eyes to light up with that "I discovered fire" glow.Â
Anyway, the days of manipulating men are over.
Truth is we manipulate ourselves in the exact same way.
Progress, right?
Mainly with positive suggestions but also with plenty of poor ideas, too!Â
Let's say you are looking for a new job, you get your resume ready to be sent, and you go online and see that your dream company has let go of x number of employees. Right there, you'll think:Â Â
"Nobody's hiring. I'm not sending my resume, anyway it's shitty, and I'm not good enough."
You just validated an idea you (or l teacher) planted a while ago in your brain, like: I'm not worthy, I'm beyond nulle, I might as well start a career as a professional couch potato.Â
That's why I find coaching so fun.Â
We go into the brain, look for the false idea planted a while ago, and replace it with one that will help us act more aligned with our desires.Â
A list of desires I hear most weeks includes:Â
- I'm ready to leave my job.
- I want to be more visible
- I must ask for a raise.Â
- I am burnout and have to slow down.
- I want to write a book.
All commendable ideas, which my clients really really want, but when it comes to executing them, a tsunami of stuff gets in the way.
What's really in the way is a thought and, more specifically, one called fear.
F.E.A.R.: False Evidence Appearing Real.
Yes, we want to leave our current job, but more competent people than me are getting laid off.Â
Of course, we wish to be more visible, but "people" don't seem to notice me.
Our raise was promised, but I believe the company can't pay me because they said they didn't make their quarter.Â
We are overworked and can't even sleep at night because of the endless balls we're juggling, but who will clean the mess if one drops?
Writing a book would be so cool, but I'm not a writer, and there are already tons of great books. I mean, have you seen the size of the 'TBR' (to be read) piles people post on Instagram?
And yes. that last one's for me :)Â
Fears are the obstacles we face.
The coaching game is to plant thoughts that are in coherence with your desires to override the fears so your brain wants to do it.Â
And please don't try doing this alone or with your best friend at home.
In my experience, because I believed the thoughts I had initially planted in my mind, they felt real to me.
I was chasing my own tail; it looked stupid, and I ended up dizzy (to put it nicely).
As a result, I kept trying to find solutions to my excuses instead of addressing the fear.Â
And our BF loves us exactly how we are, so she'll agree with me. That's why I love them!
As you become smarter, your excuses become more intricate, like a hamster on a wheel.Â
Ironically, it feels like an upgrade because you skipped the dizziness!
If you have a "never give up" mindset, you might be wasting time chasing the excuses vs the fears.
My coach helps me parse through my thoughts, letting go of futile and rubbish ones.Â
It's Spring, time to plant new seeds. Schedule a consultation with me, and we will explore your unique situation together, identify the false evidence keeping you stuck, and decide to plant fresh thoughts.Â
By summer, you'll see your goals bloom.
If we're not the perfect match for any reason, I'll gladly refer you to a coach I've worked with in the past.Â
There are many Inception magicians out there!
To full bloom!
Agate
Want more?Â
I was a guest on ‘The Career Evangelist’ Podcast with Bola Alabi where I dive into the magic of manifestation. Tune in to unlock your potential.